Messaged her(SMS) the next morning, she gave a very positive, immediate reply.
I am more mature now and not some young buck that feels he is invincible anymore. I am trying to cope with the guilt but it is literally eating me alive. I feel like I am going insane, crying all the time and angry with myself. Just this past week I went on a fishing trip with 2 of my close friends and completely broke down in front of them. I am not one to show emotions in front of people but I couldn't hold it in anymore. Apart of me says the withdrawls of quiting smoking is bringing my emotions out. The other part of me says, its just plain old guilt. I can't lose her. I need her and I love her more than anything in the world.
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